Tuesday, August 16, 2011


So much sadness in my life
I wish that I had cried
Instead my pain was trapped
until my heart had froze inside

words that sliced through my heart
deeply scarring my trusting soul
I wanted to run so far away
but somehow I just couldn't go

each day I grew stronger
until I wanted to scream
your power over me is over
and I will go and live my dream

but dreams were all they were
lost in my own self doubt
tunnels and roads leading nowhere
for there seemed no way to get out

Yet escape was there waiting
when the fear of staying became to much
and a tender, caring spirit
held my hand with a tender touch

He said, "please come with me
trust and I will show you love
you don't belong down here
you need to soar above"

So I took his hand and held it
said goodbye to a world unkind
let the pain bleed out slowly
as I left the hurt behind.


  1. This is simply a beautiful piece, Lauren. It moved me so much. I remember the “Lotus” piece you wrote earlier in the year. You have done a GREAT job of believing in yourself and continuing the unwavering life journey towards peace and happiness. I know only wonderful things will happen to you from now on.

    There are some people, like a failed law student, mediocre writer and unsuccessful business man that I know, for whom happiness is just NOT meant for them. These types are not vultures, no. They are, in fact, eagles who have fallen from the sky and have been condemned to futility, no matter what they do. Yes, they have to ability to fly high and accomplish great things but fate always beats them down and grounds them. For them, their heart exists only to be broken and dreams exist only to disappear, lost forever, like tears in the rain. That’s just the way destiny is sometimes.

    But, not for you! No one deserves to be lifted far away from the rabble of this world and sent soaring high above the clouds more then you. To have kept your noble heart and pure soul intact in the face of such terrible hardships over the years is just simply remarkable. No one deserves peace, love and happiness more than you and I know that this new path of life will provide it for you. Even if it doesn’t, the lessons learned will help you along your amazing journey.

    Remember, no matter what, keep writing, for writing makes the bad times shorter and easier to endure and the good times longer and sweeter to enjoy :)

  2. Thank you Tony. Actually, you can interpret my poem two different ways...I wish I was as noble and strong as you believe I am but I too believe that my heart only exists to be broken. The last three verses..isn't an actual "person" for nobody can heal your soul or take you away from your inner demons but yourself. You must heal yourself. The problem is it gets tiring..when you mean well, when you try to trust and again and again you get hurt. How much can a heart take? So, if you reread the verses..read between the lines..what else could be meant? "He" is just a symbol. "He" is death..death took her by the hand..in the end..death was her only escape, her only peace. I'm not suicidal but sometimes I believe that is the only time I will ever feel real love and peace..when my spirit is set free someday.

  3. By the way..destiny is a wide open door and fate can be changed by actions..this person..who feels doomed..has to try to hold on..because life will change as it always does. I have a feeling he is a fighter, a warrior, a tiger and that he will not give up and accept fate but try to change it..from the inside out. Only happiness awaits him I am sure.

  4. Your interpretation is quite interesting, but I prefer a more positive view where “He” is NOT death, but your soul mate. See, I believe that no one is totally "whole” by themselves. We need others in our lives, such as friends and family, to “complete” us. That is the central principle of Yin and Yang, the duality of the human experience. I PROMISE you that you shall find real love and peace in this world, at this time. I really hope this new path you are on is the chapter of your life when complete happiness finally arrives to stay. It’s a golden opportunity to know for sure if your soul mate has finally arrived, after all these years. However, even if it’s not “He”, the lessons you shall learn will help guide your decision making process in the next portion of your life’s journey. Look, you are stunningly beautiful, have a brilliant mind, a noble heart and a deep soul. That’s an unbeatable combination! You are such an amazing woman and I'm sure that everyone who knows you would agree with me. You shall never fall again, you’ll see. We are what we think, so no more negative thoughts, ok? Only positivity from now on :)

    If you’re just tough, but not smart, that’s no good. Being smart but not tough is also no good. You need to be both tough AND smart and that’s what you are. The brilliant mind you posses and the toughness you have acquired over the years shall see you through any situation. Remember the fifth freedom: the freedom to take risks in your own behalf, instead of choosing to be only “secure” and not rocking the boat. Go take the risk and see where this new path leads you. Yes it may be a little scary at first, but you’ll never know unless you try, right? You are a great fighter, a warrior princess, a mighty tigress. Please do not give up and just accept fate but try to change it from the inside out. No matter what happens, only happiness awaits you, I KNOW this!

    Good luck! I wish you and "He" all the best,

  5. Thank you Tony :). I was feeling a little bit down as we all get at times. I am much better now and I agree, the positive interpretation seems like a much better future.

    I hope you know that you are an unbeatable combination also and that the world is just waiting for you to shine. Look around you and be grateful for what you DO have. Open up your heart and mind to all the possibilities that are in your life currently. You might be surprised what you will find.

    I will give you the same advice..don't give up and keep going no matter what. Keep writing, keep following your dreams..it is never too late. Again, thank you. :)